January 25, 2012 by Syd
Why? And why exactly do you say that as a woman?
Having spent most parts of my life with men rather than with women, I can tell you why. They are more intelligent than women.
-Men can smell dinner before you even started to prepare it. A friend of mine perfectioned this incredible talent. He’s showing up half an hour before dinner at ANY time of the day. You just thought about cooking he’ll know it.
-Men have the better taste regarding alcoholics. When you go out with a woman you certainly end up with some creamy expensive cocktailstuff, while going out with a man you’ll find the best whisky in town at any time of the day or night. They even manage to convince hotel staff to open the bar at 4 am. I’ve never ended up drinking a bottle of Asti Cinzano with a man. With a woman? Too many times. If you wanna share a good and healthy whisky, don’t ask your female friends.
-Men have a very distinguised sense of odor. While they manage as mentioned above to smell dinner hours before, they can certainly be ignorant to the smell of their socks, not to mention the sweet odor of a puking baby or its diapers.
-Not only are they able to smell differently they actually SEE differently. Even when they’re drunk they will never ever overlook a nice butt, a car magazin under a stash of Wallstreet Journals, a bottle of beer or a bottle of fine whisky. They will most certainly always see when you’re naked, even while reading the mentioned car magazine. But they won’t if there is a rugby play on TV or if you’ve gained too much weight. That amazing talent only works for the things mentioned above. They will find the most hidden exit out of a nasty situation but they won’t be able to find the only hazelnut yoghurt in your fridge if you send them. Same said for your new haircut, your mom and your tampons.
-eventually men are more honest than women. They will never miss the chance to insult your mum, your friend with weight problems and the teacher of their daughter. You will catch them lying about their recent affair and the looks of their female coworker, but they will never manage to call you slim, when you’re not, never cease to be fully aware of your hormon cycle and mention it.
-Men love women. They call them queen, princess, sweetheart, light of their day, as long as they are provided with food, enough sex and right Rugby. I have never met a man who called his lady rabbitfoot, mouse, or SCHATZI.
-Men also manage to pull out their best manners, hand you their raincoat, carry you to the bedroom, open a door for you, buy you shoes, well as long as they have right? enough of the things mentioned before.
-Men totally adore their daughters. They are actually not capable of refusing their princesses their credit card, or sent them to bed. They are not even able to refuse anything, if their sophisticated little daughters blink with their eyes and call them “Daddy dear!” But talking about better sight they will be able to shoot any other guy who breaks their daughters heart drunk from a mile away from the poor sod. They even think about buying a gun ten seconds after they’ve first seen their princess.
So why exactly are men better than women? Right! You can get drunk with them better than with any woman, you never get wet feet with them as long as you fulfill their primary needs. They will never ever tell you that you’re goodlooking when you’re not. They will never ever call you slim, when you’re not. Thus said, they are better friends than any woman could be. Once you’ve figured out, that they love good food, enough sex, cars, sports and their daughters you win, whereas a female friend will talk shit about you, lie to you and never ever drink the right whisky with you.