The beetroot attack or how I forced people to go vegan

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May 19, 2013 by Syd

First of all let me make something clear here. I never ever in my life thought how changing my diet would make other people feel angry, intolerant and threatened.

A couple of years ago I decided to go vegan. There are so many reasons why this decision was made by me it would take an hour to add them all up.  But let me break it down to one sentence: I do not feel the need to exploit, torture and enslave another being just so that I can eat a corpse of a pain-stricken, frightened other being in order to maintain healthy. In fact I can tell you one thing. When I came to Ireland for the sake of the argument, I ate meat. I got lazy and frustrated by lacking other options I was used to and I got sick. I got  migraines again, I got kidney stones and I felt terribly tired most of the time. But that’s just for me. I went back to veganism instantly. Not only for compassion for another feeling being but also because that whole dairy loaden, animal protein based diet made me feel sick.

But as my fellow vegans might also tell you, telling another person that you are a vegan indeed and yes, you do not eat cheese, not drink milk and not eat honey, well makes the other person instantly go haywire. It starts with a joke regularly. Something like: “You’re taking away the food of my food.” Oh yeah? Really? And goes on for hours and hours of silly comments about you being way too skinny (Newsflash: I was always skinny), you sitting lonely at a barbecue (right, no soyburgers around…no mushrooms, no veggies, no nothing I can put on a barbecue, poor me) as all vegans. Hey look at this Leto guy, he looks anorexic and Bill Clinton. Wow.

All these celerystickeaters certainly are the most unhealthy persons you can meet on this planet. Please, we forget about all the obesity stricken people in America. Bill Clinton is the one we need to worry about.

After all the comments are made, all the jokes are retold there comes a point they do not want you to mention that you are a vegan or why. This is a plain attack on their spiritual wellbeing, an attack on their barbecues, their healthy milk in the morning and most certainly you are insulting them as people.

You personally are insulting them by mentioning that red meat increases the clogging of their arteries, you personally make them feel unhappy that their nice world of happy cows, funny chickens and healthy pigs falls apart the minute they would enter a slaughterhouse.

Yeah right, and what about me. If I was stranded on an island with only a rabbit to eat…like this is going to happen any time soon. I am stranded on an island and I haven’t eaten a rabbit. Or much worse if I was attacked by a tiger, if I would be out to kill him? Damn sure I would, but I was out to kill you too, if you attacked me, right, which is more likely in Ireland than a tiger roaming the Cooley Mountains. But maybe all the sheep are out to get me.

So I am out to get you with cooking vegan dinners for my friends. I am out to take away all your nice steaks from your old and happy organic farm animals served at Mc Donalds. I am totally out to upset you by eating an avocado instead of a salami. It is my crazy terrorist mind which tells me to harrass you with my diet. I am armed with beetroots, mushrooms, raspberries, sprouts, lentils, nuts, fruits and vegetables. I will totally force you to become vegan, so that you don’t need to suffer from a heart attack, diabetes and obesity. I am a violent person forcing you to delete my posts from slaughterhouses so that you can only see the nice kitty pictures and Save the koalas Posts, while you are munching on a chicken burger.

You know what? Go ahead. Eat it. But I dare you to just one thing and it is not to drink a beetroot-raspberry-banana smoothie. Go to a slaughterhouse, watch Earthlings. But don’t forget to make some barbecue before that and if you look me in the eye and tell me afterwards that I am the one who is terrorising you, be my guest. Until then please let me eat my veggies, let me drink my nondairy milk and if you feel distressed go someplace else and laugh about the sick vegan you know, torturing you with her diet.

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